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Dating black men in the Santa Barbara

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I started at UC Santa Barbara inalmost on a whim.

Age I'm 31 years old
I like: Gentleman
My gender: Female
My hair: Black
What is my favourite drink: My favourite drink mulled wine
In my spare time I love: Yoga
Stud: None

Views: 4929

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The White Swan had been busy dating.

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As he explained what had been evident from Google Maps before Date 1, I found myself stunned. And then angry. Did he really think I was dumb enough not to see through his flimsy excuse? The anger felt familiar.

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Six months earlier, a long-term relationship had ended in a spectacular blowout. Rage can be empowering. After getting the brush-off from Westside guy, I created a fake profile, the Black Swan, to keep tabs on him anonymously.

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Sitting alone with my laptop in the dark, drinking red wine, I officially became an online stalker — not exactly what I dreamed at age 13, when I imagined my glamorous adult life dating successful men who inexplicably showed up to everything in a tuxedo.

I figured if I was going to go psycho, I might as well have fun with it. My Black Swan profile was somewhat like me but way more devilish.

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Unlike my White Swan profile, where I listed my favorite novels and interest in a committed relationship, Black Swan was a romantic nihilist. The whole profile followed suit. What tantalizing bait I had created! White Swan had men chasing her but nothing like Black Swan. Her inbox was constantly jammed with offers of dinners, drugs, money, weekend getaways to places like Palm Springs and plenty of sex.

It was amazing how many of the respondents, all from the Los Angeles area, wanted to confide in Black Swan, no matter how withering her messages. One guy revealed that he was broke but he posed like a hotshot to his friends.

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Another guy identified himself as an avid Christian but admitted to a fetish involving guns. He will be in touch for disciplinary action soon. We were having so much fun that I confessed to him that Black Swan was a ruse. He talked me into sending a real-life picture of myself.

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And I suppose he was right, in a way. Same sequins.

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Same hairstyle. But most of all, our eyes were the same: serious but with a glint of playfulness.

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I had known all along that Black Swan was a part of me, but suddenly I knew exactly what I was getting out of her. The daughter of a librarian and an Episcopalian minister, I had been raised to be a good girl, quiet and passively feminine.

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But with Black Swan, I could be darkly humorous and sexy. After a few months, I abandoned online dating altogether and got into a relationship — the kind I dreamed about when I was On our third date, a road trip to Santa Barbara, we covered so many topics in conversation that we wrote a list of them the next morning at breakfast and put stars next to the ones we wanted to continue.

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My boyfriend, a fellow writer and artist, found this amusing, not a threat. Do you really exist? But to answer the question: Yes, Black Swan is alive and thriving, swimming with her fellow under a new moon. She quit ballet in the sixth grade but her love for ballet flats will never die.

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